Oh hi there
There's a thing that crossed my mind and I can't really get over it..
How can it be that even the people you have known since ‘forever’, don't really know you at all? I have known these people for almost 10 years now and I still can't talk to most of them. I am in 9th grade and it's my last year in this class before we go our separate ways. I really want it to be a good year, but half of it is almost gone and it feels like nothing is getting better. I can't help but blame myself, 'cause it's still awkward sometimes. How do people do this? I see tons everyday, who are good at talking, good at making friends. It looks so easy, but why is it so hard for me? Am I the weird one? Am I the only one who feels this way? I guess, it's easier for some than others. Maybe it's not me, maybe it's the people that surround me, but why do they do so well with each other? I'm not going to lie, I am lonely. But I didn't choose to be. Sometimes it's my fault, but even when I try my best, I just don't seem to succeed. It's just a puzzle, 'cause I believe that the key to happiness is to be surrounded by people you love. I am surrounded by my family, I do have love, but friends are also very important. I was sure, that if I was good to them, they would be good to me, but that's not how it turns out. I tried my hardest and I ended up with a liar and a place in second row (more like 10th). So what do I do? Do I just get this year over with and pray for something better? Or do I suck it up and keep trying? I want to try, but if 10 fake friends is what I get, then I'm not sure I want it. Maybe friends and popularity isn't what we really should be seeking, but if not, why is loneliness so hard to master? I seem to be failing at it. So please, if anybody knows, then spill.
There's a thing that crossed my mind and I can't really get over it..
How can it be that even the people you have known since ‘forever’, don't really know you at all? I have known these people for almost 10 years now and I still can't talk to most of them. I am in 9th grade and it's my last year in this class before we go our separate ways. I really want it to be a good year, but half of it is almost gone and it feels like nothing is getting better. I can't help but blame myself, 'cause it's still awkward sometimes. How do people do this? I see tons everyday, who are good at talking, good at making friends. It looks so easy, but why is it so hard for me? Am I the weird one? Am I the only one who feels this way? I guess, it's easier for some than others. Maybe it's not me, maybe it's the people that surround me, but why do they do so well with each other? I'm not going to lie, I am lonely. But I didn't choose to be. Sometimes it's my fault, but even when I try my best, I just don't seem to succeed. It's just a puzzle, 'cause I believe that the key to happiness is to be surrounded by people you love. I am surrounded by my family, I do have love, but friends are also very important. I was sure, that if I was good to them, they would be good to me, but that's not how it turns out. I tried my hardest and I ended up with a liar and a place in second row (more like 10th). So what do I do? Do I just get this year over with and pray for something better? Or do I suck it up and keep trying? I want to try, but if 10 fake friends is what I get, then I'm not sure I want it. Maybe friends and popularity isn't what we really should be seeking, but if not, why is loneliness so hard to master? I seem to be failing at it. So please, if anybody knows, then spill.
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