Proud

Hello you.

You know that feeling, when you are sooo excited about something, but you know, that when it happens, your whole life will change? Well, I do. Yesterday I was woken by my mother with great news. I am a big sis now. My baby brother was born! His name is William. I haven't seen him yet, because I'm sick and I don't want to rub it off on him. I am kinda nervous to meet him, because I have no idea, how i'll react. Will I cry? Will I think he's ugly? Idk. All the grown ups says: "He is so sweet!" I don't get it. I can't see the beauty, but maybe when I meet him myself, it is the feeling inside, that makes him beautiful. So it's actually my feelings about him, that reflects on his looks. I hope he's going to be the most humble and charming gentleman.

I can't wait to see you, Lil' Willy.

A great loss

hi.
I don't know if you've heard.. you probably have by now... the whole world knows.
Yesterday, december the 5th 2013, our planet said goodbye to a very important man. He was a true hero for many. He fought for peace and freedom. He lived far away from many people, but had impact on the whole world some way. He was a great man, who touched many hearts. Before, Today and forever he will be known as Nelson Mandela, the man who could change the world. May he rest in peace. 

"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others." - Nelson Mandela

1. december

Happy 1. december... I think...
Can you even say that? What is there to be happy about really? Is it because there isn't long till christmas eve? I don't know... but anyway..

I spend half my day at my dad's.. I woke up to a cool present, it was jewelery.. Kind of cool...
At my mom's we made christmas stuff and soon we'll eat.. Mmmh can't wait...

Right now my mom is trying the game: Amnesia. Hah it's hilarious. It's crazy how games can effect you this much. The sounds and graphic have an incredible inpact on how you(r body) respond. Sometimes you have to look around just to make sure you aren't inside the game. Crazy. When you think of it, it might make sense how some people may worry. What if it did mess up our brains a bit. I think, that most games only makes us smarter, but what if? Someone has probably already found an answer, but I haven't heard it yet. I just think it's crazy how real it can be. You just get completely swallowed into the world. That's how I wish people 'saw' music as well. If I hear good music, I react same way. It captures my mind, but not everybody feels that way. I don't know why.  If I was to decide, everyone should take music serious and really care for it, like I do. What about you? What if you were to decide?

Happy birthday old man

Hello to you

I want to dedicate this post to my father who turns 39 years today.

When I was little I didn't see my father that much. More than many others, but still not a lot. I only have a few good memories and sadly many bad.
Today I can say with honesty that I love him. For about a year and a half ago I started seeing him on a weekly basis and I still do. He found a beautiful (younger) woman, who I now also love very much. It's kind of funny how her age is closer to my older brother's than my dad's. The good thing is that she and I share interest in a lot of things. About five months ago they moved to a house where I now have my own room. We live there. My dad, my 'mom', my younger 'sis', my soon to be baby-brother and me. My older brother can of course come and visit as much as he likes, but he lives by himself now.

Today we are all going to the house and have a family dinner. I bought a gift for my dad yesterday. It's a book where he has to answer a lot of questions and one day when it's filled, he gives it back to me and I can read about him. I also made him a song and recorded it. I think he's going to cry, cause he always does.

I am so happy that I finally love my father truly. There's still ups and downs, but what's most important is that he cares and that I now know that he truly loves me too.

Thank you, dad ♥

Random thoughts on popularity

Oh hi there

There's a thing that crossed my mind and I can't really get over it..

How can it be that even the people you have known since ‘forever’, don't really know you at all? I have known these people for almost 10 years now and I still can't talk to most of them. I am in 9th grade and it's my last year in this class before we go our separate ways. I really want it to be a good year, but half of it is almost gone and it feels like nothing is getting better. I can't help but blame myself, 'cause it's still awkward sometimes. How do people do this? I see tons everyday, who are good at talking, good at making friends. It looks so easy, but why is it so hard for me? Am I the weird one? Am I the only one who feels this way? I guess, it's easier for some than others. Maybe it's not me, maybe it's the people that surround me, but why do they do so well with each other? I'm not going to lie, I am lonely. But I didn't choose to be. Sometimes it's my fault, but even when I try my best, I just don't seem to succeed. It's just a puzzle, 'cause I believe that the key to happiness is to be surrounded by people you love. I am surrounded by my family, I do have love, but friends are also very important. I was sure, that if I was good to them, they would be good to me, but that's not how it turns out. I tried my hardest and I ended up with a liar and a place in second row (more like 10th). So what do I do? Do I just get this year over with and pray for something better? Or do I suck it up and keep trying? I want to try, but if 10 fake friends is what I get, then I'm not sure I want it. Maybe friends and popularity isn't what we really should be seeking, but if not, why is loneliness so hard to master? I seem to be failing at it. So please, if anybody knows, then spill. 

Poem/Story

Hi there.

I wrote something today and I really wanted to share it, but I didn't know where. Then I thought to myself, why don't I just post it on this new loner site I made? Yeah, lets! (sense the sarkasm)
So here I am.

The Golden Gate (working title)

We start out as a sign of life. We start out as a gift. Well, most of us do. We give joy and heartache. We challenge. Someday we join the battle. We fight against each other. Some win, some lose. When the war is over, we leave the battlefield soaked in red poison. We leave the screams and the pain behind us and turn our backs to the vulnerable and hurt. We wipe our scars and prepare. We stand before the golden gate to heaven and cry. Cry out for someone on the inside to let us in. No one does. Confused and in panic we take a step back as we ask: “Do I deserve this treatment?” How dare you question your creator? Some might ask. Well, he told us to behave and in return he promised peace. We would know peace. But no. You didn’t pay your price. You paid with lives of others. You paid with his creations. How can you crave peace, when you’ve taken it away from others? We must now go back to the ruins and ashes that remain. Return to the people we’ve destroyed. We’ll do good and make up for the bad we’ve brought into the world. We can then return to the golden gate and pray for our creator’s forgiveness. We will then know peace. 

- NadiaNikitax 

Welcome to Mindexplosion

Hello there reader.

Welcome. Take a look around if you haven't done it already. You could also just stay here and keep reading. It's your choice, but if you want to know something about me, the writer or the idea behind this site, then I would keep reading.
If you have got this far, it means you are sort of interested. Am I right? Don't answer that, you will just sound stupid, no offense. I am reading this out loud as I'm writing, so I am not much better.

I am no one special. I don't want you to see me as one, who just writes to get sympathy or any type of attention. I write, because I love it. I can't say if I'm good at it, because you are the judge here. You are the one to impress and if you aren't bored by now, that means I did well.

Something you have to know is that I am obsessed with music, art and the English language. I'm not from an English speaking country and you can probably tell if you are. I hope you can’t though, because that will mean I did great.

The reason I named this Mindexplosion is not because I’m crazy or crazy smart, but I just feel like it’s the best way to describe my thoughts. I feel like my mind is exploding and that's the main reason, why I am doing this.

Well, I hope you still want to wrap your mind around this whole site. If you don’t, then that’s okay. Like, what am I going to do about it anyway? Again don’t answer.

Peace out and stuff